#I love them and their emo bangs and their big ol eyes

[i-mossy]

A collection of Rook faces bc they're so silly to me

[saltedriceball]

How I imagine the Mystreet characters

Because they’re block-shaped in the show, but my 12 yr old ass imagined them as real people. 🕺

* I mainly kept up with Aphmau when I was 10-12 years old, I fully stopped watching after Mystreet 5 *

* I didn’t watch MCD 🙊 *

*this is mostly PDH (my fav, I was 12)*

Aphmau

It’s just Jess.

Kawaii Chan

Like average height

5’4” ish

Thick thighs save lives

Whole wardrobe is baby pink and white

Idk grown me thinks she was a cam girl (in Mystreet, not Phoenix Drop ✋)

And she made bank too

She’s not very athletic, but she’s just like blessed proportion-wise

Pale, but not as much as portrayed

Idk I always thought she’d actually be Japanese since she uses Japanese terms

Pin straight hair she curls only at the bottom

Like ribbon

Katelyn

Quite tall

5’9”ish

Muscular but in like a

~she’s a runner she’s a track star~

Type of way

She just looks athletic

Flat though

Paler than KC

Her hair is wavy-curly naturally

She kinda lets it just flow or it’s in a ponytail

Zane

Quite chubby

Idk how anyone watched that show and thought

*man who despises the outdoors, hates exercise, and enjoys sweet things*

“Must be tall and skinny”

The fan art I viewed in middle school legit surprised me.

He was definitely super duper skinny in high school

Adolescent metabolism and all

He is definitely like 5’8”

He is very pale

Does indeed burn almost immediately in the sun

Has an emo boy hair cut

Like Anthony from Smosh way back in the day

He also has piercings: lip, ears (multiple), septum, eyebrow)

Also has tattoos

Freckled, especially on his body

He has random scars from injuries growing up

Inflicted by his brothers

Mostly Garroth

Garroth

Muscular

But also quite chubby

Just kinda in the middle

Like 6’

Overall just a big guy

Just looks like he gives good hugs

He also has a beard

Not a big floofy one

But it’s there

He looks very Northern European idk

Has a lot of arm hair, and it’s very blond

So you don’t see it until up close

Also pale

And very freckled

Also wears a watch

And his outfit is the most average outfit for a man

Khaki shorts, a white tee, a plaid button up unbuttoned, a watch, and sneakers

This outfit could be spotted on an elementary schooler’s spring picture day

Or on my literal father 👨🏻

His hair is quite curly

Not in a spiral curl, but more of a wavy-curly way

Laurance

This man is brown imo

Very tall

Like 6’3”

Super skinny

To where he looks even taller than he is

Just built like that ya know

His hair is a pony tail as an adult

But it was in a Superman sort of curly situation in high achool

I get the vibe he likes being outside

Doesn’t work out, but loves a good hotgirlwalk

Aaron

A little more like the common fan art of 2016

Tall, but only like 5’10”

Absolute beefcake of a guy

But also like has some body fat

He is not rock hard, but you can see his muscles

I imagine he has thick thighs

Fat ass too

But that’s just how his body fat distributes, so like yeah he has visible abs

Idk that’s all I’ve got

There was enough consistent fanart in my atmosphere at the time that that’s how I imagine him

Dante

Never thought too hard about him

His hair is definitely curly

More than Garroths

He has especially big eyes

He’s like lean muscular

Just very average white guy

Like 5’11”

Looks young for his age

Michi

Absolute 2014 tumblr girly

Owns something with galaxy print

Very thin

With tig ole bitties

Wears thigh high socks, mini skirts, and tank tops with sweaters

Has the swoopy bangs of the era

Poses in up angle selfies like 🙂

So her head looks like a raindrop in the photo

Edits her ig photos to look more aesthetic

Teony

Tall

Girl next door

Well done, natural make up

Straightened hair

Smiling a lot

Even if it’s fake

Idk her character that well

Never thought too hard about it

But she’s like supermodel pretty

Ein

I only remember high school him

But he was like

Young guy skinny

Like you could see he had arm muscles in a tank top

In an old 5SOS type of way

His head is actually boxy shaped

Like 5’11”

White

Never thought too hard about adult Ein

Lucinda

White

Her hair is dyed with spells

It’s styled well, in a Jessica rabbit hairstyle

It’s curled

Body shaped like a coke bottle

Hourglass for days

She’s just hot

Gene

Hi why was this cast so white washed

White

His hair is not naturally black

It’s like medium brown

It’s also straight but he gets it permed

Wears eyeliner

Lots of bracelets and piercings

Tall guy like 6’1”

Cadenza

She spends a lot of money dying her hair that color

White

Tall like 5’10”

Her dress is floor length

And loose

Could command a room

Guy

Barbie doll

Hi Ken

Built like an upside down isosceles triangle

Muscular

Back muscles for days

Looks like he could do triathlons in Ancient Greece

Like 6’5”

This man is good to look at

Ivy

Michi but pink

Jeffory

The most golden retriever man you could imagine

Like 6’3”

Athletic muscular

Melissa

The most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen

Tall like 5’11”

Long legs

Nicole

Don’t know don’t care

Miscellaneous really

Wasn’t in the show enough

Reese

Nick Bean dyed pink

Vylad

Drake Bell in his Drake and Josh era precisely

No more no less

Except he always has a scarf even if it’s hot out

Sylvanna

Aphmau, tall

Zianna

Button nose

A really petite lady

Her hair is black but with gray sprinkled in

The most smiley lady you ever did see

Mother gothel if you breathed life back into her

Hot

Kai

Forgot about him for a sec

Ok gears turning

Tall

Very calm energy

Redhead

Idk he wasn’t that relevant for me

Jenny

Also in the 2014 tumblr girly category

But a little more Bethany Mota with it

A little less galaxy print

A little more Jennxpenn vibes

Wears hella eyeliner

Her outfit is black cutoff jean shorts, an oversized shirt so you can see her white tank top underneath

Her hair is naturally that light

Wears converse only

[jcmorrigan]

Can you explain a little about each of your OCs fashion taste and maybe add a pic of the epitome of their style? I want to see which one is most like my own fashion preferences (if I wasn't too lazy to dress up lol)

All right, what I’m going to do is the rapid-fire. I’m gonna tell you names and what they dress like, since you were interested in finding out who matched, and then you (or anyone else) can ask further asks about anyone who looks interesting one at a time and I will GUSH

Venley (protag hero): Wears deep blues (but not navy). Likes swishy skirts, flowing sleeves, and layering. So much layering, especially leggings under short skirts.

Sophira (hero): Has a style I like to call The Worst(TM). Wears non-complementary colors. Patchwork sweaters and miniskirts. Loves rainbow tie-dye. Will not take fashion advice from Axeline and this is going to be the death of Axeline

Axeline (hero): Mostly sticks to red palettes with long coats and corset lacing but will try anything once.

Siademina (hero): Likes to pair cute blouses with bouncy short skirts. Tends to wear warmer colors or pastels.

Zefiraduc (hero): Purple and glitzy. She wants to be a famous pop star and dresses like one.

Arain (hero): Blacks and reds. If the outfit can allow her to blend pants with something skirt-ish, like a side panel, it’s an extra bonus. Always wears the fantasy equivalent of a baseball cap to go with it (and has emo bangs AND a huge ponytail).

Ailuen (hero): Mostly dresses in comfy things, tees and jeans, but when she wants to go all-out, she will pick a pink prom dress with ruffles and sparkles. A nice compromise is if she puts a fancy pink blouse over the jeans. During the planned arc where she becomes a Lawful Evil for a while, wears a white military uniform.

Alivain (deuteragonist villain): Mostly likes red, but occasionally blue or purple. Is a villain and dresses like a villain. Outfits are very bright and flamboyant. I’m toying with an “evil circus” aesthetic for the entire team and have written down some of him acting as the ringmaster, so go ahead and add a red ringmaster’s uniform to his most-worn. I also want him to have gloves with little claws built in at one point. Capes. And he wears high heels because he likes to feel tall and glamorous.

Versafina (villain): All black all the time. Lots of leather. Prefers pants vastly over skirts because she’s a dancer/martial artist who needs the mobility; also she just doesn’t like the femme aesthetic so much. Though she does enjoy wearing the highest of high heels specifically because training in them makes her more balanced and agile, and if she takes them off, you are dead where you stand.

Phantasia (villain): White cocktail dresses. Swanky and glamorous. Usually more pencil-skirt style or form-fitting than anything that has ruffle. Slits that show off the leg are a fave style of hers. High heels for her too.

Zangary (villain): I’m not entirely happy with his design, but for now, I have him in kinda generic dark clothes with an ostentatious long lavender jacket and a black wide-brimmed hat.

Dweixyn (villain): Pink minidresses/blouses and skirts. Has a favorite trench coat that has pink lining on the inside and is darker on the outside. Always wears sunglasses, even indoors and at night, for the aesthetic and no other reason. High heels for her too.

Belador/Belladore (villain): They’re kind of a rave-themed villain so I imagine lots of mesh tops and glow sticks.

Yridel (villain): I’m not entirely sure what her style is, but it needs to show off her cybernetic limbs. That is a must.

Sherida (villain): A form-fitting red bodysuit with a black motorcycle helmet that prevents you from seeing her face. Heavy-soled boots. Steal aesthetics from Vanitas Kingdomhearts? Me? Nooooo

Lirian (villain): “Sun” palettes, with pinks and yellows and reds. But also blue sweaters and skirts (dull in hue). I toy with one of her quirks being wearing ballet shoes everywhere she goes but I’m not sure if that’s silly.

Rachneira (villain): Wears lots of black. Not just a Goth but THAT Hot Topic Goth.

Tomagi (villain): Pink sundresses, particularly with gold lining.

Calpurniko (villain): Jumpsuits, overalls, beiges and dull colors, white tees, anything she can get dirty and not cry over.

Diamandian (villain): White lace. He is cis male but comfortable enough with his masculinity that he adores ruffles and lace hems. Has a matching white parasol and a white top hat.

Maraya (villain): Victorian-esque dress...blue?...and a big ol’ black cloak that hides her appearance. Her design is still kinda under construction because I started out going one direction and then made a hard left on her character

Anastasios (villain): Tunics and breeches. Greens and browns.

Kaxhalen (villain): He is an alien warlord so I’m trying to design a silver extraterrestrial battlesuit but not sure how to make it look unique

Osmend Osmodias (villain): Shiny golden suits. Fedora that’s pulled down to cover his eyes.

Orianelle (villain): black leather that shows a lot of skin. Tanks and shorts that bare midriff. Tall black boots with heavy soles.

Siersyrei (villain): Navy blue and that’s about all I know for now, though there are reasons I’d like her to have a skirt with shorts underneath.

Clancette (B-team hero): When in civvies, wears a lot of pink “kawaii” clothing. Jackets over tanks. Lots of pins with the fantasy equivalent of Sanrio characters. Rainbow stockings. As a Magical Girl, is associated with the color pink and element of wind; her outfit has a short and wide ruffly skirt and any way a breeze can be implemented into the design is welcome.

Xar/chelyna (B-team hero): When in civvies, he wears button-down shirts and blue pants. As a Magical Girl, she is associated with blue and water, so skirts that are long and wavy and any ocean motifs. Also enjoys a blue top hat.

Loveleigh (B-team hero): Both civvies and Magical Girl clothing are red/fire-associated. Likes slinky skirts and low-cut blouses.

Fernamele (B-team hero): Both civvies and Magical Girl clothing are yellow/lightning-associated. Another pop star wannabe who dresses in glitz and glitter, with swishy short skirts.

Zelladane (B-team hero): Civvies are sweatshirts, jeans, and heavy rubber boots with a lot of dirt built on them from her gardening. Magical Girl clothing is green/plant-associated, but with pink accents. Any piece that’s green with pink flower decorations on it automatically makes me think of her.

Aoliaoma (B-team hero): Undecided on civvies, but her big character quirk is that she seems perpetually sleepy, so I could see her just forgetting to change out of her full-length pajamas that are probably black satin. As a Magical Girl, her association is black/the void, and she has a short dress meant to look like that of a traditional witch, with a pointed witch’s hat on top.

Ravenille (antihero): Denim jackets and pants. Lots of denim. Silver face piercings and LOTS of them.

Arisia (antihero): I specifically see her in a blue tank top, a brown skirt/shorts and chain mail overlays. Anything with chain mail makes me think of her. Also, tall heeled boots. She might also wear a mask made of chain mail that covers the lower half of her face.

Lunisia (antihero): Pink. Skirts with leggings beneath. Quirky shoes, like black patent-leather with buckles.

Rhodelton (antihero): The ugliest yellow jacket you can imagine over a T-shirt and jeans.

Phaeley (minor character, could be moved to antihero squad): Black tanks and long skirts. Slightly Goth but not that much. Always wears a black newsboy hat.

Sylvisa (minor character, could be moved to antihero squad): Almost exactly Versafina’s style except more masculine. I should probably refine his.

Dashorra (minor character): Anything that’s split right down the middle as black/white is fair game.

Victorique (minor character): Shiny silver dresses with long skirts.

Isisa (minor character): White toga and gold hair ornamentation.

Phil (minor character): Is literally a sentient pile of green slime and never wears clothes, but if he did, it’d be business suits with tacky striped ties.

Tristabelle (minor character): I usually picture her in a dark blue low-cut dress with a loose, flowing skirt, but I feel like it needs refinement.

Madwyn (minor character): I usually picture her in a form-fitting black cocktail dress, but I also feel like this could be more special.

Diceanne (minor character): I usually picture her in a pink bodysuit with gold accents that lacks sleeves or legs, so I kind of want to do something with this and the concept of tackling the issue of revealing clothing and sexism and how much choice is had in the matter so I guess her final outfit will come to me once I’ve got the arc in mind

Beccatrice (minor character): I usually picture her in a white toga, but unless she and Isisa are part of the same order or class or something, I should probably make hers different.

Sharamantha (minor character): Brightly-colored overalls (pink, green, purple) over white tees. Sneakers.

Eudarmence (minor character): Shiny gold gowns. Any shiny gold gown. Also likes shiny gold hair ornamentation. Has to be the shiniest thing in the room.

Ilyènne (minor character): Either yellow dresses with loose skirts or this specific pink blouse with a huge ostentatious ribbon on the chest that I got in my mind’s eye once.

Riaudne (plot-device character): Pink-and-silver dresses. She’s royalty, but I want to play with her culture not being Eurocentric, so I want to shake up this design somehow but I’m not yet sure how

Aelistene (plot-device character): Brightly colored minidresses (mint green or deep purple), likes hair ornaments.

Magnus (Lawful Evil villain): All white all the time. Looks very regal - jackets, waistcoats. Very masculine as well.

Janiel and Tjeron are both mooks of the Lawful Evil faction and will eventually renounce their ways, but I have literally never pictured them in anything other than military uniforms that I originally designed as black but now have changed to white for symbolic deconstruction reasons

The following characters are still under construction to where I’m not sure of their fashion style at all: Valencindri (villain sidekick), Dr. Hope Lessness (villain), Mercy Lessness (villain sidekick), Lainnhartt (villain), Soligeo (villain sidekick), Khairic Kajé (antihero), Aerokai (antihero), Tredwulfall (antihero), Burqueley (antihero), Liodax (minor character), Ririko (minor character), Ayali (minor character, possibly antihero), Lilianet (minor character), Spectra (minor character), Prettiza and Kyista (minor characters who have to wear the same outfit), Rewnoki (minor character), Delena (minor character), Jaydrey (minor character), Mejame (minor character), Shananadel (minor character), Veline (Lawful Evil), Keiandra (Lawful Evil), or Oquian (Lawful Evil).

I hope this has helped you figure out whose style you match and also see how many freaking characters I have designed and I don’t intend to stop until I have enough to fill a huge fantasy world but then I’ll probably keep going anyway because my mind is apparently hooked on designing now

[risquefanfics457]

Hello gorgeous!I saw that you do matchups and that they are open so I am curious about it,I never asked so don t mind me if i do!

I m medium tall (1.73 m),I care alot for my body since i was the ol' fat kid and lowkey may have body dismorphia,short hair at the back of my neck and a little longer in front with bangs and overall a messy emoyish hairstyle(brunette),big brown-redish eyes,my voice is like a little kids ,for fashion sense I combine different styles so it is indie combined with emo aesthetic,as for personality I use to smile pretty much,am pretty sarcastic and sometimes people can t tell if i mean something or not,I stand up for myself and don t take others bullshit,I like to analize people and figure their emotions out even if i suck at this,I day dream 24/7 and planify my future till the last detail then realize that i think too far away,last but not least i study art.

Hope i didn t exaggerate and thank you for even reading my comment\(●v●)/

Uno reverse card my friend! You are too kind!

I match you with...

Fugo!

Fugo has been confused for a long time. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his future, where he wants to go or who he really is. But somehow, when you’re around, things seem to look a bit clearer. Like all the uncertainties drop when he sees you. If the heart racing wasn’t enough, he could stop and stare at you for hours. You’re a light, especially your eyes, them remind him of amber. Something wise, that holds secrets and mysteries, and with that, he becomes even more curious. He isn’t sure what to do. He wants to tell you that your smile reminds him of Shakespeare’s description of Juliet, that he would drop anything to be a Montague for you. He’s read about love but never experienced it before. This is new and scary territory for him. If he sees you doing some form of art, he watches from afar. He doesn’t want to scare you. If you throw it out, he’ll go out of his way to find it and keep it. He thinks that you are the most creative person ever. When he sees you in what he thinks danger he goes in without a second thought. But you held your own. He asked you about it, amazed. “I don’t take other’s bullshit.” You simply replied. He fell even harder. God, you had such wit and charisma. He even picks up on when you daydream and asks about the plans you make. “Dolcezza, can I help you?” He might reach out a hand and place it on yours. He wants to help you build your future, and maybe, just maybe he can be a part of it too.

[too-weird-for-main]

Humanized Symbabies comic stuff:

-WEAPONS:

Carnage has a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire with nails poking out of it

Riot has a big fucking hammer that just so happens to have “BIG FUCKING HAMMER”written on the handle

Phage has brass knuckles except they’re like... incredibly big spikes

Scream has a dagger strapped to her thigh and throwing knives

Lasher has a cool cyber goth themed whip I’m really proud of it actually

Agony... I really don’t know. A handgun, probably. Mostly she’s the snark of the family. She takes after her dad, kills people with words.

And Sleeper is LITERALLY A BABBY HE HAS NO WEAPON

DESIGNS/VIBES:

Cause I’m really indecisive and I tried WAY TOO HARD on Carnage and Riot and the rest look bad in comparison so I’m not putting the pictures up yet

Carnage is a sexy goth gf. She wears a crop top and high waisted pants cause that’s my favorite thing ever. And a cropped biker jacket. And REALLY BIG STOMPY BOOTS and she has a big ponytail and it’s dark brown with bright red highlights. They all have highlights of their theme colors.

Riot is SO GAY AND SO PUNK. I literally drew them wearing a sew-through plunging v neck top under a denim vest covered in pins and patches and those fuckin hot topic pants with all the random like hang-y straps and shit all over them. And big stompy boots. And the pants have more patches on them. And some fishnet is thrown in there too.and like five necklaces. And their hair is like black at the roots and it fades to silver and it’s wavy and shoulder length.

Phage is So scene emo. Blue hair with orange stripes. Emo bangs. Darkest skintone of the kiddos(with Vampire Bitch Carnage being lightest) cause I have a Big Thing for characters with brown skin and blue hair and PHAGE’S THEME COLOR SHPULD HAVE BEEN BLUE THE MAC N CHEESE BULLSHIT NEEDS TO G O. But anyway they wear an oversized hoodie and stupid too long flared jeans and converse and they look like they just rolled out of a dumpster.

Scream is... yellow. Looooong blonde hair and she wears stuff that’s like, pretty but comfortable and I drew her wearing like... a mustard yellow tank top dress with some leggings and riding boots. She’s the only prep in this family of goths.

Agony is the Goth Chick with the Bobbed Hair with Purple Highlights and Glasses. Does she needs glasses? Is it just for the drama???? Who knows.

Lasher is this horrific mix of a Gym Dude and cyber goth???? Like he wears a muscle tank...... but it has like green glitchy stuff on it, and he has on goth boots and those headphones with the ears??? And he has stupid hair. Like an ultra mullet. His ponytail goes to his thighs but you wouldn’t even notice he has it cause so much of his hair is just cut in random lengths. And there’s neon green stripes in it.

Sleeper is literally a baby astronaut. His hair is brown and curly with like 2 colors of green striped in it. I don’t know his eye color cause I haven’t drawn him with his eyes open. It’s probably gonna be green.

HOBBIES/JOBS/ENRICHMENT ACTIVITIES OTHER THAN MURDER:

Scream is a singer! She can’t perform live at large venues cause some of the Symbiote stuff still applies so big ol speakers are a no-no but with the use of holograms one day she might. But for now she just vents via music about how she keeps dating shitty women

Carnage mostly just follows Cletus around... her life is focused around being the actual problem child of the Brock family so it’s either being with her boyfriend or talking about him.

Lasher is a Gamer Bro. Probably does YouTube or something. Blood is 40% Mountain Dew at this point.

Phage is an emo artist, does some 3D modeling and stuff, is trying to help Scream set up hologram concerts

Agony is a writer and is trying to follow Eddie’s legacy but really her talents lie in poetry. Wait fuck. I made her that one Pokémon character. Fuck. She’s just Shauntal! Fuck! Oh well.

Riot... their daily activities include 1. Making a scene at breakfast. 2. Trying to start a fight 3. Running off to go tell their shitty boyfriend about how much they hate their family for not letting them goad them into fights. 4. Actually get into a fight with Eddie cause NO DATING RICH BOYS IN THIS HOUSE! YOU CANT BE PUNK AND DATE A RICH BOY THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS RIOT”but dad I love him!” FO YOU LOVE HIM OR DO YOU LOVE HOW HE’LL BRING YOU HOMELESS PEOPLE TO EAT???????

Sleeper is currently learning to count to ten and say his colors! His favorite words are “no” “food”, butchered versions of his siblings names: “Cah-age!” “Asha!” “Tage!” “Aggy!” “Sceem!” “I-iot!” (Is he saying Riot? Or Idiot? The world may never know) and of course... Mama (Eddie is Mama, unfortunately the others have picked up on it and have started calling him mom just to annoy him)

[childishadultperson]

Another One

I got tagged in this one too... So like. Last one.

Tagged by: @cnchoebaby and @cloudchristopher

Rules: I don’t follow rules

How tall are you:  5′6 or 170cm

What style and color is your hair: So my hair is past my shoulders, but my bangs are kinda like an emo premature JB with a Chris swoop. But I also like to call it a wavy mess. Also my hair is black with a reddish tint in it.

What color are your eyes: Black Dark Brown

Do you wear glasses: Yes. I do. I also have contacts.

Do you have braces: Nope, but I probably need them.

What is your fashion sense: I wear whatever makes me comfortable. If I had the money, I’d custom make my clothes to be more comfy. That being said, if you look into my closet you’ll mainly see the color black. Minus a few other colors that were honestly gifted to me.

When were you born: July 15th, 1999 

Where are you from and where do you live: Born and raised in good ole Wisconsin

What school do you go to: I graduated a few years ago. So I am a free child.

What kind of student are (were) you: I cried when I got my first C so.... But as the years went on, I slowly gave up. That sad moment when your grades apparently matter more than your mental health

Do (did) you like school: Hell motherfucking no. Kids are assholes. Classes were boring. AND THE FOOD SUCKED. But my elected classes were fine I guess.

Favorite Subject: I loved my literature classes (besides AP Lit because let’s be honest, Withering Heights was a boring ass book) and I loved all my cooking classes

Favorite show/s: On My Block, A Haunting, Psych, Criminal Minds, and Deadliest Warrior. There are more, but those I could rewatch a bunch of times compared to other shows.

Favorite book/s: Okay, I am a book nerd. I love a lot of books, but one book that stuck out to me and I still remember is called Stealing Freedom. It’s a great book and I read it in 5th grade so it’s an easy read. But if you ever need a book person, let me know.

Do you have any regrets: I want to say yes, but to be honest, I don’t. There is a lot of things I wish I hadn’t done, but I know that I’ve learned from each mistake I’ve made. And with every mistake that I had made, it made me become a better person. I wouldn’t want to take away anything that I did.

Dream job:  I want to open my own bakery

Do you want to get married: Eventually yes. Any time soon, no.

Do you want to have children: I do, but I don’t. Maybe once I feel ready.

If so, how many: I have no idea.

Do you like going shopping: HELL NO! I avoid it at all costs. If I can have things shipped to my house I will. Even when the store is in my town.

What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had: When I was in elementary school I had a reoccurring dream that my teacher murdered my brother. Still can’t look at her the same way.

What countries have you visited: None.

Any enemies: I try to live a peaceful life but I know a few people who don’t life me...

Do you get along with your family:  I am a big family person. So yes. I always try to get along with the family I have.

Do you have a significant other: Nope. Single af.

Do you believe in miracles: Yes.

How are you: Glad this thing is over.

Well, now that everyone knows too much about me, I am out. 

[beachcityfamily]

About the Muses

The Koizumi family is just a regular human family living in the small town of Beach City, Delmarva, and being in Beach City means that they have daily dealings of some sort with Gems. NOTE: this blog is up to date with SU episodes. ((More under the cut, because it’s loooong))

Rokuro

Gender: Male Age: 47 Occupation: Businessman, specifically the owner and manager of a little Asian grocery store in Beach City Voice claim: James Earl Jones

Appearance: Short and muscular, standing in at 5'2", with a real bushy beard on his face, and stone grey eyes that are soft and caring. His black hair is starting to grey a little here and there. Often sports a suit when on the job, but he has been seen a few times in cargo shorts, flip-flops, and a flower shirt during the summer

The head of the family, he is levelheaded and patient, a good father to his three kids. He hails from Sapporo, Japan, and happily moved in to Beach City shortly after he got married. He’s the middle child of 10 siblings, and admittedly his mother’s favorite child. Like most in the family, he isn’t fond of a certain Fryman trying to ask them how they feel about the Crystal Gems, and would easily call on his son Tarou to chuck Ronaldo out of the house. “Sure, you can eat their food, I’d love to support the business, but the second that Fryman boy comes around, RUN,” is something he often says. He proudly dons the nickname of Rocky, a rather affectionate nickname given by his wife. As for the Crystal Gems? “Well… hmm… they do keep us safe, that much is known, but it can be rather dangerous sometimes. Last time something major happened, half the town was destroyed…”

Ayame

Gender: Female Age: 43 Birthday: May 24 Occupation: Accountant Voice claim: Kate Higgins (Pauline from Super Mario Odyssey)

Appearance: Tall and slim, a statuesque 6'0", she is said to be fox-faced, having a narrow face with high cheekbones and eyes close together, making her rather pretty when taking traditional Japanese beauty standards into account. Her eyes are bright and blue and she has long black hair that goes halfway down her back, and she’s usually decked out in formal wear when she’s conducting business.

Rokuro’s wife, a big city woman from Tokyo. She’s got a pretty face, but she’s also got smarts when it comes to finances. She’s more than happy being Rokuro’s business partner, sorting out the finances and giving him advice. She's extremely motherly and doting, babying her three kids despite their pleas that they’re grown up now. “Grown up? Hah! You’ll always be my babies, even when you get married and have your own kids.” She’s a cat person and very much loves to show off her family of Oriental Longhairs, her… lanky… long… alien goblins that once ate the salmon that was to be dinner for the family. How she feels about the CGs? “It can be scary when others like them arrive, but I know they’ll protect us as best they can. It can be difficult for them, there’s only 8 of them, after all.”

NOTE: As of July 6, 2019, her twins popped! A boy named Tadashi, and a girl named Sakura. OwO Sakura’s the older of the two, and she’s bigger than little bro Tadashi, and they’re both happy and healthy and enjoying being surrounded by kitties. UwU

Tarou

Gender: Male Age: 23 Birthday: November 12 Occupation: Uhh… student, I guess? Just gonna assume there’s a little college half an hour away or so. He also does odd jobs here to help out the townspeople, too. Voice claim: Travis Willingham (Knuckles from Sonic Boom)

Appearance: BOY, this big boy is ripped and beefy as all hell, but he’s still short at 5'2", and he has black hair and black eyes. Normally, Tarou is decked out in black cargo shorts, brown working boots, and a blue polo shirt in the summer and swaps out the cargo shorts for jeans in the winter… I actually do have sort of a face claim for him. For consistency, I won’t post his FC here, but I can provide if you ask~ :^)

He’s a big flirt, and he often pays for that as a result. Single and ready to mingle for a coffee date, but honestly, he prefers to settle down someday with a woman he cares about. He’s very protective of his two younger sisters, and he’s more than happy to toss out Ronaldo like a sack of potatoes, he tends to find the Fryman boy super annoying. His thoughts on the CGs? “They’ll kick your ass if you mess with them the wrong way… but that doesn’t happen too often, so I think you’ll be okay. Trust me, I tried wooing one of them, she just stared me down and closed the door. Still, they look pretty chill, I’d like to hang out with one of them someday, maybe with the purple one.”

Chihiro

Gender: Female Age: 16 Birthday: April 14 Occupation: High school student Voice claim: Tara Strong (Twilight Sparkle)

Appearance: Long, black hair that goes down to her hips, with an emo fringe covering the right half of her face, with dark blue eyes. She’s usually in a school uniform during the school year, because she’s a privileged rich girl who goes to a private school not far from Beach City. :p Anyways, she rocks denim shorts and a tank top during the summer months. She’s 5'1" and pretty petite all around.

With her little sister, Chihiro is rather outgoing and always doing something in Beach City when the weather’s good. She’s good friends with the Cool Kids and wishes she could be cool like them someday. She’s usually covered in cat hairs, and she’s pretty athletic, being the star player on the basketball and tennis teams at her school. She admires the Crystal Gems, not like the slight apprehension her parents feel. “I wanna be like Garnet someday! Or maybe Pearl! Is there a military school around? Because I’d like to join someday so I can keep other people safe when I’m older.” Little does she know is that she’ll be a big ol’ lesbian in a few years.

Jun

Gender: Female Age: 11 Birthday: June 28 Occupation: Grade school student (maybe she knows Onion, hehe~) Voice claim: Claire Corlett (Sweetie Belle)

Appearance: Already as tall as Chihiro, with plenty of years left to grow. She’s lanky and sports a school uniform in the fall and a summery pale yellow dress and flip-flops in warmer weather. She’s got bangs and her black hair goes down to her shoulders.

No longer the baby of the family, Jun’s sometimes Jun-bug by her parents due to her birth month, and her older siblings call her Juni. as a nickname She’s a hypertastic youngin, always curious and checking things out with Chihiro. She’s a real math whiz, but she prefers to be playing with the cats at home. She can usually be seen trying to give Sour Cream a high five, but not quite at that height yet, and she’s admittedly a bit wary of the Crystal Gems. “They’ve been here longer than we’ve been alive… It’s kinda scary, isn’t it? They’ve seen things we haven’t seen, they know things we don’t know… I dunno, it’s all a bit freaky to me...”

[thedegenerateasexual]

top 10 teen wolf episodes as rated by me i guess

IN the order from most to least favorite, and i did not include any 6B ones because it isn’t fair for me to use those when the season isn’t finished yet. (EDIT: season is now finished and while none of the 6B episodes made the ranking i did adjust the honorable mentions accordingly.) this is long & i had fun making it

3.19 Letharia Vulpina: ok ok so just like Everyone Knew I Would i did pick this one because of all the prime derek/chris material—that all-important moment where they had their claws and gun trained on each other, being handcuffed to a bench together, derek saving chris’s life despite insisting he wasn’t gonna—BUT there’s literally not a single second of this episode i don’t love. we open with deaton being a total badass and scaring the shit out of some yakuza dudes, then KIRA gets to be a badass, and then there’s a small scott/allison/isaac moment when he’s all laid up (which was my ot3 for a little while in 3A…don’t judge), allison gets to threaten peter with a stun baton on her girlfriend lydia’s behalf, and that doesn’t even BEGIN to get into the absolute delight it is to watch everyone running around trying to deal with all the chaos the notgitsune is causing (we even got to see coach get shot, which was actually pretty funny??). between all of that and the plot twist at the end (that we all saw coming…but hey) that it was really the nogitsune pretending to be stiles all along (and the very…gay…thing going on with him and scott), it’s literally like, the perfect episode. there was even a rain battle at the end i fucking love rainy scenes. PEAK television.

4.12 Smoke & Mirrors: my two favorite characters on the dumb werewolf show are derek hale & scott mccall and this episode is like a great big flashing sign that says “LOOK AT HOW AWESOME DEREK IS AND LOOK AT HOW AWESOME SCOTT IS!!!” because scott finally gets to KICK PETER’S ASS and comes back from something he shouldn’t be able to come back from because he’s SCOTT MCCALL, TRUE ALPHA, and how can we forget my son derek finally achieving the full shift and giving that big old “FUCK YOU” to kate argent. if that wasn’t enough, my third favorite character chris argent gets the second-closest he’s ever come to weeping in this entire series when confronting the sister he can’t kill at the end. also kate is in this episode and she’s the best villain i love her presence onscreen. also peak television.

1.12 Code-Breaker: i love s1 SO FUCKING MUCH bc it was so tightly plotted - it’s like back to the future and holes, it’s one of those things where every line serves a purpose and there’s no spare bits, and tw’s plot becomes such a mess later that it’s honestly really amazing. so code breaker is my favorite one because all the plot stuff comes together really well, and it’s just like well-done overall, there’s that sick backwards shot of allison, chris’s Angst when he realizes his sister is a serial killer, scott trying Really Really Hard and derek being Really Really Done (why don’t they have more scenes together…), stiles and peter cracking me up with the laptop password gag, like…there’s literally no part of this ep that isn’t a delight (also again kate is in it i love kate as a villain). it’s wonderful 10/10

3.14 More Bad Than Good: i had a real hard time with this one vs. the one immediately before it, the first one of 3B, but i love both bc i love watching scott stiles and allison absolutely losing their shit. in the end i like this one better bc 1. you get to watch them beat it and 2. they finally find and rescue malia and i FUCKING LOVE malia, my own daughter, also the scene where she reunites with her dad makes me misty every time. bonus content: watching araya hack off peter’s finger :D :D :D AND this is the first time derek gets to make heart-eyes at braeden. i’m so happy whenever he’s happy!!! 

6.05 Radio Silence: this episode is everything i love about 6A all wrapped up in a nice neat lil package. i love 6A bc it totally fucking surprised me by making me like things i did not think i’d like, the biggest being stiles/lydia. and like…this season fuckin SOLD me on it, the way she fights tooth and nail to get him back and the way he’s so patiently waited for her reminds me 2much of claire & ben from @cambionverse and the beginning of me being sold was this ep, when they had the wall between them, and when they finally talked on the radio. and this episode even made peter hale interesting for 30 entire seconds which i thought was impossible—it was cool that he did One Genuinely Selfless Thing by going through the portal to save malia, and later when malia and scott had to take his pain to get at stiles’ keys you could almost imagine for a second he got to pretend someone actually DID care about him, that’s his reward for doing a single selfless thing. it was also stellar to see stiles (and the jeep!!!) again and see him working the problem from the other side it was like getting real sam back after half a season of soulless sam in spn s6 DO NOT call me out for referencing this show

4.05 I.E.D.: go look at these gifsets and read the tags. now come back. …okay okay aside from, That, which i won’t repeat as to avoid two paragraphs of capslock, derek also smiles in this episode. even scott is alarmed by it. HE’S HAPPY i’m happy he’s happy!!!!! i’m happy he loves scott!! i’m happy he spends half the episode trading long lingering looks with his future boyfriend!!!! but if that wasn’t enough this episode KEEPS ON GIVING because at the very end the calaveras show up and bully chris into saying the original code, and forgetting his daughter’s, which is deeply relevant to all my headcanons about the code lowkey being like indoctrination (watch that shit again it’s fucking wild…), and also it’s one of the only times in the series where he looks genuinely freaked out and i love watching his Turmoil™

6.10 Riders on the Storm: this is also everything i love about 6A in one ep, just like, less concentrated, bc there’s also the nazi werewolf (tho even PETER HALE getting judgy @ the nazi was truly a highlight). its got all the Big Damn Reunions, its got STYDIA, its got peter actually being slightly interesting, its got scott mccall: badass. its actually also got lydia martin: badass, which like…About Damn Time. it’s even got chris argent: badass, and it’s also got chris argent: badass smooching on a beautiful lady w/ his hands in her hair!!!! (her: that was so hot! me: GIRL ME TOO) also they thought this was the last stiles ep ever so his goodbyes to everyone were like really sweet & made me emo af

3.22 De-Void: so obviously i love this one because derek’s line when he was under thrall about “you’re NOT my ally you’re a HUNTER” got me into the dumb rarepair i wrote like 60k for so far but also i do genuinely deeply love the sequence where they exorcise the notgitsune from inside stiles’ head—lydia facing her fears in the ruined prom dress is such amazing imagery + im gay for the scott/stiles reunion. bonus content includes chris & allison interaction which breaks my heart (he’s so proud of her!!) and the tense kickass scene in the loft in the opening where the notgitsune (SCARY MOTHERFUCKER) is trying to goad chris into shooting it. i don’t love ALL of this ep bc it has so much thumb twins (& from here down there are no more perfect ones…sad) but i love MOST of it and the parts i do love are fantastic. so. i’ll deal w/ thumb twins

3.06 Motel California: look i know this episode should disturb the fuck out of me bc 1. derek and jennifer bang & in my eyes that isn’t a consensual encounter and 2. all the creepy ass suicides but like…honestly there is something so soothing about motels to me, i’ll put this one on to just chill out anyday. like it is delightfully creepy and i love all the meat to everyone getting hit with their baggage (uh…except the thumb twins), but mostly it’s the #mood i love. i actually even like the derek scenes before the sex starts because he is So Wounded and So Sad (“everyone around me gets hurt” BYE) and they rarely let him actually emote at all so it’s very refreshing

2.03 Ice Pick: this was like…such a perfect & amazing introduction to the new betas like if the new ppl in s4 and beyond had gotten this kind of good introduction (and hadn’t been killed off so quickly…) i would love them about 10x more. it’s got that nice s2 vibe that most ppl are into and i still love erica & boyd w/ all my heart!!! (DONT really love how creepy derek was w/ erica but we’ll blame it on being the alpha.) i also love how fucked up the scene with allison tied to the chair was & the fucking fight between derek’s pack and scott at the end…like scott gets to win a 2-on-1 fight and then derek gets to be mr. cool alpha dude and kick his ass. i LOVE THOSE FIGHT SCENES and bc of this episode “iron” is my derek theme song. so.

HONORABLE MENTIONS aka these were on the original list but didn’t make the cut:

1.11 Formality (aaalllll of derek’s ugly backstory this was when i knew i loved him)

2.10 Fury (the first ep i ever watched live, will always be fond of it for that reason even tho i don’t give 2 shits about matt)

2.11 Battlefield (the theme of doing things bc of the power of love will always get me, it was also the only teen wolf episode i ever made gifs of, back when i knew how to make gifs)

3.12 Lunar Ellipse (for scott becoming a true alpha for REAL + derek’s big ol’ well-deserved fuck-you to jennifer, i didn’t love 3A but this was such prime derek & scott material)

3.13 Anchors (like i said: watching stiles, scott, and allison all COMPLETELY lose their shit, also did you know the anchor allison chose in this ep ws her new code? Interesting)

3.24 The Divine Move (listen...you can laugh at the cheesy sfx ALL you want but when i watched kate argent come back from the dead to menace derek hale like his own worst nightmare come to life LIVE with mine own two eyes i jumped out of my seat and YELLED like everything about that moment was absolutely PERFECT and very few things are ever gonna top it)

4.08 Time of Death (derek learning to use a gun and then getting it on with braeden…bye)

4.11 A Promise to the Dead (not only chris unsticking himself from the wall for allison and scott’s sake but also derek and braeden walking around his loft half-naked in the rain...nice)

5.05 A Novel Approach (the stiles and donovan altercation…the first 15m where he acts with his face without saying a word…enough said)

5.18 The Maid of Gévaudan (i'm bitter about the flashback because i want ALLISON but it was a nice origin story + scott fighting the beast all on his own to save that library full of kids was one of the only truly amazing moments of 5B)

6.08 Blitzkrieg (the sheriff rebuilding stiles’ room and saying goodbye to claudia makes me really for real cry but there’s so much nazi bullshit that i couldn’t justify having the episode as a whole being one of my favs)

6.13 After Images (chris argent absolutely losing his shit the entire ep, fucking love it)

6.19 Broken Glass (derek hale's comeback and he got to spend all of his screentime with chris argent! i seriously considered poking this into the #10 spot but ultimately the sideplot i hated with malia and scott had so much more screentime i can't use it - i can't list an episode i'm always skipping parts of!)

[generallyspecificblog]

  I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming. I’ve been waiting patiently for this season since the last one ended. The show grew on me in a big way, i did not like it initially. Something about it is mysterious and innocent and this season looks to have more of a suspenseful and scary vibe. I’ve only watched two episodes thus far so this is an incomplete project but I felt I needed to write about it because i haven’t blogged a long one in a few days. What follows are my hot takes, conspiracy theories, and honorable mentions of “Stranger Things” Season 2.

Ah, the ’80’s, things were slower back then i’m sure, i wouldn’t know though because i was -10 in 1980. The fact that in one of the opening scenes the boys are scrambling for quarters to go play arcade games just tells me that those were the good days. Reminds me of the movie/documentary, “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters”, if you haven’t seen that i suggest that you stop reading this blog and go watch that documentary, you will not be let down, you will also have your masculinity tested by a man named Billy Mitchell. Also that is probably the only time i’ll suggest that you stop reading the blog so you know its worth it. Anyways, quarters are king and Mike robs Nancy of her piggy bank which i think is just great, but also i feel like Nancy is a bit too old for a piggy bank.

So the boys (Will, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin) rally at the local arcade room, Those for sure were only around for laundering money i imagine, and get to playing. At some point Will hears something and wanders off and somehow he is pulled into the upside-down place, his home pretty much the whole 1st season, and sees a dark sky with red lightning and a shadow demon thing with tornadoes for arms and then snaps out of it. First off i would like to say that i do not completely understand what the show writers are going for with the existence of the “Upside-down” place. I guess the easiest way to explain it is an alternate dimension that’s evil and terrible, but i just don’t know how it all works. I will admit that i think that if i were to somehow be instantly teleported to a place like that, i would for sure only be able to cry and close my eyes until i inevitably died because that place, and that monster thing seem completely terrifying. With all of that being said i think that calling it “The Upside-Down Place” is a rookie move and who ever came up with it needs to go to prison. It’s like calling it “Creepy Avenue” or “Elm Street”, how about a better name for the place that your main characters fear and where pure evil resides. As a matter of fact i will no longer refer to it as the “Upside-down” place and from here on out it will be called the “Thunderdome” or “Satans Basement” or “Oklahoma” ANYTHING but “Upside-down” place.  So, Will snaps out of it somehow and his excuse to his friend for being outside is that he needed some air, I found that funny because this show is set in the 80’s and no chance kids were as messed up and snowflakey as they are now. “Needing some air” in the 80’s was just something you said when you wanted your 3rd cigarette from your 2nd pack of the day, i assume. Be more dramatic Will.

The cameos in these first two episodes were very interesting and i didn’t hate them, i’d actually be excited if they all stayed on as regulars. First we have Brett Gelman playing Murray Bauman, aparrently some kind of private investigator with suspicion of Russian assistance in the events that transpired last season. Gelman is killing it lately with the cameos and honestly is just a really funny guy, i will never forget him in The Other Guys as the Arnold Palmer obsessed wanna-be swinger who begs Will Ferrels character to bang his wife.

Next and my favorite so far is the incomparable Mikey Walsh, the lovable Samwise Gamgee, Rudy HIMSELF, Sean Astin playing Bob “The Brain” Newby. Sean Astin is top 10 in my favorite actors, all around good dude, and just as lovable as they get. His character in Stranger Things is Joyce Byers’ new love interest it seems, and he does a fantastic job. The dynamic between him and Joyce is weird but i am fully invested after 2 episodes. Sean Astin nerding out about video cameras and radio shack is grade-a television folks.

Other than that there is a new pair of sibling characters in the show, Billy and Maxine AKA MadMax, that i just don’t know about yet. Billy is an absolute psychopath that resembles a younger Zac Efron who is fond of younger Zac Efrons who drives like a bat outta hell. This Billy dude is like a cross between Kurt Cobain on a bender and Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Pure crazy, but an entertaining character. His sister, i’m assuming, Maxine (or Max as she so rudely corrected the zany teacher at the school) is a very boyish little girl who is apparently good at arcade games and skateboarding, possessing some of the same crazy traits as her aforementioned brother. Some subtle yet understandable misogyny is featured in a scene where the boys are spying on her and say something along the lines of “girls cant play video games”. There is a new psychiatrist guy that talks to Will too but he is very boring and on the bad guys side so i don’t particularly care for him. Out of the new characters i mentioned above i would rank them accordingly: 1. Bob 2. Murray 3. Billy 4. Maxine 956. Doctor Boring D.O.

As for our returning characters a lot has changed in good ole Hawkins and its nearing the one year anniversary of the finale of last season some time around Halloween, obviously. The iconic Reagan Bush ’84 Campaign signs make an appearance in these episodes a couple of times in peoples yards and i love it, shout out Rowdy Gentleman.  The boys are still up to their nerdy shenanigans riding around on bikes and talking on their giant walkie-talkies. An exciting part is that they dress up as Ghostbusters for Halloween and being the season is set in 1984 i give 1,000 kudos to the kids for being such trailblazing fans of the film, and 2,000 kudos to their parents for making the costumes from scratch. There is a pretty comical argument between Mike and Lucas on who gets to be Venkman, Bill Murrays character, with an awkward reference to the only black Ghostbuster, Winston Zeddemore played by Ernie Hudson, being lame because he was late to the team.

  Mike is emotionally invested in 2 boxes of toys for some reason and misses the hell out of his superhuman girlfriend, 11, just being an emo little baby pretty much the whole time. Will and Mike make some weird pact while trick-or-treating where Mike says “If you’re weird, I’m Weird” kind of like Ryan Gossling does in the Notebook (If you’re a bird, I’m a bird). Lucas and Dustin fight over who is gonna date Maxine.

Our guy Will, who spent the majority of last season in the Thunderdome, has turned into a monster in the eyes of the kids at school. He gets bullied a bit, being called “Zombie Boy” and getting notes put in his locker saying the same thing, thank god Twitter or Facebook didn’t exist back then or this dude would of 13 Reasons Why’d his way through the rest of this season, probably. He takes it with stride though, animating his new nickname pretty artistically, wouldn’t be surprised if he creates a comic book about his Zombie alter ego and becomes a millionaire.

Steve and Nancy are still an item, probably my second favorite couple behind Johnathan and crippling loneliness. Nancy has become annoying because out of the clouds she starts actually caring that her friend Barb is dead, probably because she feels guilty, i mean you’d have to be an idiot to not blame Nancy for the demise of our homely heroine, Barb. There is a scene where Nancy and Steve go have dinner with Barbs parents and enjoy some KFC #fingerlickingood. Barbs parents are delusional at this point, in denial that Barb is dead. They are not in good health, mainly because of the fried chicken, and have plans to sell their home to fund a wild goose chase led by the wacky ex-journalist, P.I. Bauman. That should be successful. R.I.P Barb. Some how Steve has become more likable. Probably because of his hair which has some how become bigger, the higher the hair the closer to heaven, i see you Steve. Nancy and Steve go to a Halloween party together where she gets tipsy on some jungle juice, or as the raging toga bro, who is later seen yakking his brains out, calls it, “Pure Fuel”. Nancy, in typical white girl wasted fashion, says “bullshit” 9 million times after getting a cup of hunch punch spilled on her and brings up the past (Her and Steve basically murdering Barb, gone but never forgotten). Surprisingly Steve peaces out instead of taking advantage of Nancy like he did last season. Johnathan, in typical lonely guy fashion, swoops in like a sad pigeon and saves the day by taking her home and tucking her in. I feel it is necessary to say that i think Johnathan looks like an anorexic Bill Hader from SNL and i hope other people see that too.

  My favorite character, 11, or Elle as Chief Hopper adorably calls her, has taken up residence in a cabin out in the sticks. Chief Hopper is my 2nd favorite character in the show and he has become some type of father figure to 11 letting her stay in his cabin and is keeping her safe from the Russians or whoever is trying to get her. 11 is still a super hero and controls stuff with her mind. She has grown her hair out lookin like a jerry curl gettin real high up there, watch out Steve. Hopper is still whippin around in that dope ass Trailblazer and totin that 6-shooter like a rootin tootin cowboy, they should call him Sheriff instead of Chief. The interaction between Sheriff Hopper and 11 is perfect and comical. 11 is still very robot-like and says “five one five” instead of 5:15 at one point alluding that she hasn’t become much more normal than the first season. There are a few flashbacks to season one including one where 11 is breaking through some gooey womb-like substance out of Thunderdome and it reminds me of Jim Carrey being born from a rhino in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. In another scene 11 kills and begins to cook a squirrel to eat and then beams it at some hunter dudes face in the woods because i guess that’s what Russian cyborgs do. Sheriff Hopper misses hanging out with Elle for Halloween and that broke my heart, do better man.

As usual the soundtrack for the show is the absolute best, the beginning credit song that sounds like Daft Punk time traveled back to the 80’s is up there with Game of Thrones intro song. So far the show is fantastic and there are a lot more witty references and noteworthy things to say but i have just realized that i have written 2,000+ words and most of this was just mindless stammering on and so with that i give my superlatives and predictions thus-far:

Most likely to die alone: Jonathan Byers

Worst Father of the Year: Sheriff Hopper

Most likely to Smash for sure: Hopper and Joyce

Most Improved: Barb

Best Hair: Steve

Probably Gonna Finish Last: Bob “The Brain” Newby

Most Athletic: The Bike Boys

Life of the Party: Yoga bro

Most Likely to Become President: Reagan Bush ’84

Biggest Twist: Barb is alive!

Token Black Guy: Lucas

Least Likely to do Anything, Ever: The dumb psychiatrist guy

Most likely to end up in jail or an insane asylum probably: Billy

Most Likely To Confuse The Millennium Falcon with the Starship Enterprise: My Fiance while watching the show with me.

      Stranger Things: Season 2 Return of Barb, Maybe. I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming.

[disparais]

that piece cannot be moved

(aka my nightmarish week back "home”)

24 September:

i want to scream but i can’t because i’m not even the screaming type. how sad is that.

i distinctly recall blowing off a little steam at kt re my mom last night. can’t even recall what it was about now because i keep procrastinating writing this post in its entirety (please don’t blame me both neo and msl are having events hurhur and texting friends is infinitely more appealing than dealing with my crappy life). probably something about how she’s been even more of a control freak than she usually is this past week because she’s out of her mind with stress about my brother’s promos. (he is in really bad shape though he’s all set to fail math so i think i might have to stage an intervention tomorrow.)

today i was stunned when she verbalized the possibility that she had an anxiety/control issue in the car. she foreshadowed this topic on the way out, checking the stove a whole bunch of times (which is highly uncharacteristic of her) and wryly noting how similar her behaviour was to that of OCD patients she’d met. but the true shock came when in the backseat, she casually mentioned that it was probably a manifestation of her anxiety, and admitted that my brother’s prelims are making her antsy as heck (no shit, sherlock).

kt was so positive and encouraging about it. i hope things get better.

(later that day)

today i was incensed. i got back (from a strange dinner date with m s f - this was really uncomfortable, yet familiar. idk i am bothered by this too but more on this in a separate post) and g was telling me about how worried she was about lunch with cl/her emotional reaction/how ready she felt for a confrontation. i was texting g about that, when mom appears and is all like “why aren’t you (doing what you’re supposed to do)” rn.

i can’t calmly narrate this part so i’m just going to script-ify it, bless my auditory memory:

me: f is having some issues so i’m talking her through them (i’m so sorry f if you ever see this - i have to lie about which friends i’m talking to sometimes because dear ol’ judgmental mom has an issue with humans having human issues & she already sees g as a burden)

mom: why are your friends so emo? people will always have problems; no one’s going to remember this conversation in a while anyway

me (indignant): i care that i’m there for them when they need me, and i will remember this conversation, and i’m sure they care that i was there when they needed me. i’d rather be there for my friends than graduate with a fucking mbbs anyway

mom: your friends won’t be friends with you in future if you don’t have an mbbs

me: how dare you presume what my friends will be like??? sure some might change but right now not one of them is like that and i’m sorry you feel this way about friendships ?!?!

mom (with calm certainty): it’s difficult to be friends with someone not from your socioeconomic class. like imagine visiting their big house in bukit timah [and there being this awkwardness because they both know you’re not as well-off]

i was so ANGRY i could feel it in my extremities and all my blood just rushed to my head. it is vital that i get this conversation down on paper because i need to remember that every time i second-guess myself and 心软, i need to force myself to remember that i’m not dealing with someone who cares about my feelings (or, perhaps, anyone’s feelings).

don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me (in her own warped way). it’s just that she doesn’t respect me as an individual, doesn’t give a flying fuck about my feelings/dreams/me as a person in general, and doesn’t want to admit she’s flawed in any way. (which is why i’m never going to get a sincere apology + repentance from her, and why every time something goes wrong it’s everyone’s fault but her own - tbh this is everyone in the household other than me and rarely my dad UGH what is it with people and their inability to admit/take responsibility for their wrongdoings?)

26 September:

apparently, to this family, i am little more than an investment.

first she had to come argue with me in the damn shower. and then she had to drop bombs like those and now she expects quick healing. goodness. chernobyl is still a wasteland. it’s not as simple as downing a parlyz heal. even appendix cancer surgery pales in comparison. how do we recover from things like these?

we don’t, that’s how.

while sobbing my eyes out in the shower (if i can’t cry silently shit is pretty damn real because i can’t remember the last time i couldn’t suppress my sobs), i can admit that the following possibilities crossed my mind, some with a greater degree of seriousness of intent than others:

applying for a gap semester

transferring to fass and doing my dream job already ahh i got a taste of it again when editing s’ reflection and he said “your writing is damn imba” + “it’s like driving a toyota to servicing and getting a merc[edes] in return” hehe i was deeply pleased. this is something i excel at that effortlessly that i actually enjoy. why God why

离家出走, which brought me to...

...staying in capt permanently (i immediately ruled this out because i bet that woman would show up and bang my doors down since who lets investments run away? that’d make me a ponzi scheme)

legal emancipation (i wondered if i would get access to the admittedly-not-a-lot-of-money in the bank registered under my name), which brought me to...

...半工半读 and/or applying for scholarships/bursaries (a good idea esp when coupled with legal emancipation, methinks)

finality (but no i’ve considered this way too many times and whenever i do the math it’s never going to be worth it. first and foremost there’s the eternal wrath of my Creator to deal with. and i do not live for my family - my life is not theirs to 左右; there are so many beautiful things i live for like close friends and classical music and serendipitous moments and i know there is more ahead for me. my life is a symphony and i have barely finished my first sonata.)

27 September:

for the second time in my life, i caught myself doing the continent thing.

i chose to rant to f, who did tell me what i needed to hear, which was reassuring coming from her since i’m real stressed about us drifting apart. it seems as though s is her primary confidante these days and i’m not benchmarking, i’m really not (i haven’t figured out why since f means so much to me) - it’s just made me wonder if my importance has diminished. f knew to reassure me in terms of how desirable my time/company was (smart) because of how happy i made her (smarter). i think the misstep was telling me that everything would be fine again with family, and pulling out the ohana quote - i have no room in my life for emptily encouraging bs. but i reiterate, i drew much strength from the personal bit. and for that i am deeply grateful.

i’m vaguely sorry for pretending i was fine, but kt already has so much on her plate and i’ve already stretched her bandwidth on monday night so i felt like showing my brokenness to her wouldn’t be the best thing for her.

my gratitude knows no bounds. she effortlessly pulled me out of my (i am lost for words because “bad mood” doesn’t even begin to cut it).

because i was grappling with feelings of unworthiness/commodification, i really just needed to know that i was loved as simply myself, and no one else. not the doctor-to-be, not the daughter, not the comm member, not even the spiritual sister. just me. and she made me feel like i was enough. my mood lifted within like 5-10 minutes of talking to her, and mentioning 凤凰传奇’s most ridiculous songs (completely random on my end) sparked one of our most hilarious conversations to date.

i’m just so much lighter and happier, knowing that someone values me of their own volition.